carelessaussie13

Hi there, So basically, I liked this. I'm not really a fantasy type of girl, but this wasn't bad. A couple of things, though: I want to know who Meave ...

Hi there, Okay, so my big question is, why? Why does God give this kid a second chance? You don't explain that at all. I mean, sure you say that ...

My dear Jon, you seem to have fallen prey to a trap that has caught so many wonderful writers: RHYME. It's addictive. Once you even begin to think about writing ...

Hey there, I started reading this but quickly lost interest. It was because of only two things: 1. I knew nothing about the main character, and therefore had no reason ...

A bit of my story.. i have a lot going at the moment... i started it a while ago and occasionaly i'll add bits. i know there'll be bits which ...

Hi there, Okay. Wow. I love this. The romantic tension is great all the way through. Clarissa is a bit flat, but Kyle has some personality and the dynamic between ...

Hey there, Why the French? It would make just as much sense in English, and more people would understand it. Although, once you take out the French parts, you're not ...

Hi there, I read this and it just didn't seem realistic enough. Have you ever seen the movie Sophie's Choice? It displays the camps and the psychological effects afterwards brilliantly, ...

Hi there! Okay, so there are a few things going on here. One is that I have no idea who narrator is. I mean, I'm guessing it's a guy because ...

Hey there, Your story is sweet. It's something you could turn in for a school assignment about your earliest memory and get an 'A', but it doesn't really have its ...

Hi there. I like this. I like the idea of Abbie and Gabrielle, but something seems weird. It's like this was destined to happen. But there's absolutely no conflict in ...

Hi there Sydney, Guess what? My name is Sydney, too. Weird, right? Anyway. A few technical things, and then I'll say something about the whole. 1. Your rhyme scheme shifted ...

Hey there, This is... this is... I would definitely shorten the lines. Also, I'm not really sure why you wrote this. Anyone can write about what's around them: a library, ...

In my opinion, poems of this nature have more oomph when they're in the present tense. I'm talking about the first two lines. Also, you might want to consider putting ...

Hey there! Um, I give it a 3 out of 5. I like the subject matter. On one hand, there really aren't enough poems about things that matter, like what ...