bubblewrapped

*pokes* You're evil, you know that? Now I have to go and read all of the other episodes. Still, I will say that from what I've seen, "Foreign Markets" is ...

:( Sad story. But a good one; you have the tone just right IMHO, :D I kick my way through the ruins, broken glass crunching under my feet. Clouds of ...

*is too busy laughing to critique properly* Thank you for brightening up my day XD I absolutely love the ending. The rest could use a bit of polishing - mostly ...

OK. Leaving aside the obvious grammatical and spelling errors for the moment (because I don't really have the time and I'm sure someone else will be more than happy to ...

Wow, Vernon. Can I just say that that was a really beautiful poem? Seriously. I love the imagery. A few things I think could use tweaking: Firstly, I agree with ...

Short but sweet. You've captured the moment pretty well. I don't like the first line; it adds nothing to the poem, and I would think seriously about adding some punctuation. ...

Whoa dude, where's the punctuation? I can see a couple of commas, but that's it. I had trouble discerning any rhythm to this, and I think it would be vastly ...

You're right when you say it's not your best, but the concept is worth saving. I'd personally cut out most - if not all - of the rhetorical questions in ...

Clever, quick and humorous. I quite liked it. I would advise that you clean up the punctuation though, get rid of the capitals at the beginning of each new line, ...

Hey there, First off, welcome to YWS! Remember to keep you review to post ratio at roughly 2:1 :) Secondly - the poem! Wow! Congratulations on maintaining that rhyme scheme ...

Hi there! First off, welcome to YWS! Please remember to keep your review to post ratio at roughly 2:1 :) Secondly - the poem. I absolutely love that last line: ...

Hey Sydstix! I must say I liked this - the tone was just right, a mixture of playfulness and regret, and some of your images were very striking. I do ...

The tone is consistent and the anger well conveyed. Are those lines in bold meant to be included in the poem? I'd leave the first one normal if so, or ...

That was very sweet, and the imagery was lovely. A few things I think could be improved, if your friend is so inclined: 1. Punctuation. A bit more punctuation would ...

I'd like to see just a little bit more punctuation; the rhythm seems to falter at times and I think shortening the sentences and/or adjusting your punctuation would help smooth ...