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Hey, sephalump :) nice to meet you. I really liked this piece, it was very gripping and you sucked me in. I don't do grammar and things like that in ...

Here I am! lol Not much to say on this chapter. Rosey of course has caught all the nit picks and grammar stuff which I am no good at. I ...

Hey, here as requested :) Well you already have an awful lot of reviews so there is probably not much point in me being here, as everyone has probably told ...

Hey, Rosey :) I know that it is a short story and it is supposed to be fast paced and that you wrote it in two days but it still ...

Hey, ridersofdamar :) nice to meet you I'm becki. Of course you know there are quite a lot of mistakes in this piece of work. This can be attributed to ...

Hello! Here again as requested for the second apart! :P Here we go - Joshua and I were all spread out on the couch, curling up to each other with ...

Hey, silver sunlight :) nice to meet you. I'm here as requested! So here it goes - Any onlookers glance would for sure determine that we were a couple, and ...

Got myself a cup of tea and my reviewing head on! So here it goes lol This chapter was again very good, I noticed a few little mistakes like I ...

Hey, 200397 :) nice to meet you. I'm here as requested! lol I actually really enjoyed this. Ever since I was younger and used to write romantic fiction, I've kind ...

Hey Night Mistress :) Here as requested. You already have quite a lot of reviews so I hope I am not going over old ground. As others have pointed out ...

Hey, Vivacious :) I think asxz caught a lot of it. I preferred this chapter to the first one. Although there are still the same recurring problems. You switch perspectives ...

This chapter was quite confusing. I started trying to do a paragraph by paragraph review but then a lot of the same problems popped up and it all just got ...

Hey, Vivacious :) I'm here to review! lol The bold parts are your writing and the underlined parts are the things I have changed. I tried to help with dialogue ...

Hey, Juju :) nice to meet you. Whilst reading this I was just very confused. I had to keep rereading the sentences over and over to actually understand what was ...

This was very short for a prologue and it was very fast! People say that a prologue should hook the reader and I think you sort of did that but ...