bbus

Good story! the ONLY thing that I have to comment about it is that near the end in the sentence "Their fine, I know it, they’re out hiding waiting for ...

MAN, THANKS! I really appreciate that you have included several ideas for a sequel. I am going to have to spend some time looking over these ideas for a possible ...

oh, this is fine

Yes, okay. I was just trying to make sure that all details were included that were vital for the rest of the story/chapter. But still, you got the idea across ...

Oh, don't worry about it. Okay, thanks

I see. Sorry, I just now read the comment left by ForgottenMemories.

...

I am looking for ideas for a possible continuation of this story, because I got such great reviews for this story so fast. Do any of you have any ideas ...

Okay, duly noted. One more question, was this poem based on a real experience you have had?

Nice poem! I really like the image it conveys!

Note: This review has been deleted

You kind of lost me after the fourth paragraph. I wonder if you could make this story a bit more entertaining by building suspense.

Thank you for your feedback, But I wonder If you can give some specific examples for parts I can change.

Thank you for your constructive feedback, I really appreciate that you pointed out specific examples so I can fix them. ~bbus

Thank you for this helpful feedback, I had been so nervous that no-one would see my story. I originally wrote this story as a school assignment, and there was a ...