ballerina13

This was a intriguing piece. I like the title. Your poem shows real emotion and longing. It pretty much hits on any level in a persons heart, which will draw ...

Such a captivating piece this is! I have some advice for you though. Your dialogue is convincing. But, I feel that you could use a bit of imagery in your ...

Hello! I really enjoyed this piece, you gave such description that I could imagine the room. But, at times you cut the flow off by rhyming in some stanza's and ...

This is an interesting piece and a lively concept. But, it is lacking in depth and emotion. None the less, it is very amusing but, to me there seems no ...

This is an interesting piece, but I do not really feel the part of the cafe. The poem shows depth and how people can turn on you in the strangest ...

This was an interesting poem, but it sort of left you hanging with a lot of questions.Who is this girl? Why is she in love with this guy? Put more ...

This is an interesting piece. The fluency is good along with the imagery. It felt as if I was there witnessing it all pan out. But, you need to describe ...

This plot sounds interesting but, it lacks detail and voice. There needs to be emotion in the words,too. Also, describe what things and people look like. It will fell more ...

This is a very interesting piece and it could lead to something but, it needs more detail and depth. Describe what the town looks like. What your characters look like. ...

Interesting concept. I love the way you described things and make them into metaphors and similes. This poem was very imaginative. It had great voice. My one suggestion is of ...

This was a very intruiging piece but, I think it would help if you described more. What does her home look like, what do the main charaters look like? Where ...

Hello! I thought that you did a great job on getting the details of what was happening, aslo describing the fear and what the bombing did to houses. There was ...

I thought that your story had alot of depth and meaning. To me, you showed the emotions of the characters very well. It is an interesting story. I think you ...

This story sounds as if it could be god, it just needs more. Also, I think it would e good if you added some more detal, such as: what do ...

Hello! Your story was remarkable. I belive that it has the potential to e great. Just make sure that for every action, there is a reaction. I thought that you ...