autumnleaves17

I was intrigued by this and I thought I'd try and give some constructive criticism! I think you need to step back and think about the key events happening in ...

I think this is pretty good; I hope that whatever comes next lives up to your final sentence which really indicates something dramatic is about to happen to your character! ...

I think this is good ! I like your character and how you gradually give clues about her past, and your descriptions are really interesting. The dialogue is a bit ...

This is a really emotional piece, very descriptive of the pain the MC is going through, well done ! Think someone picked up on this in a comment before- about ...

I'm getting that this is a military school, and I like the description, and the way you let the reader know what the character is thinking... Some grammar and spelling ...

This is really good! shiney1 pretty much got the key points- the things you've done well- so I just want to add that you have done a really good job ...

This is really good, very sweet and captures your attention right away. I love the innocence- the imaginative reasoning of a little girl and the conversation between her and her ...

It's a really good piece of writing, I love the way you manage to say so much in only a couple of paragraphs! I only have a few tiny critisisms, ...

This is a really interesting first start! I could not find any faults with it, and have got to say I love the tantalising ending, I so want to know ...