When it was finally found by someone of the sight, the weather was quite gloomy. A typical winter day in Neros. The air as usual, had a heavy feeling. Like something was about to happen. The feeling you get when you argue with someone and their words hang in the air before they can spit them out. At least it felt like that kind of a day to the girl. She was an extraordinary girl, but not in the way you would automatically think when you hear the word. She was never the most beautiful girl, she had no superior mental ability or talents nor anything of the sort. But there was a kind of quirkiness about her that drove most people away. In Neros, people didn't like different. So the girl with the questioning hazel eyes and the bronze colored hair was mostly ignored. So no one on the dingy street really noticed too much when she stole down a back alley way, suddenly surveying the place as if looking for something. This went on for a while, at least until her eyes fell upon it.
It was a shabby looking thing. Not pretty, not brightly colored. There were none of the same flashy decorations that filled the cover of other books. The book was a dreary, boring color. Not dark enough to be called charcoal but at the same time, not light enough to be grey or even navy blue. The cover of the book was a dying man. It was battered and broken, but for some reason it hung by a thread, not yet willing to let go. But the way it looked somehow didn't matter to her. When the girl saw it, anyone could see the joy light up her features, or the look of fascination she had as she flipped through the tarnished, blank pages. No one else could see the mysteries the book possessed or anything interesting about it. To them, it was nothing out of the ordinary.
To most, it was just another diary. Tossed into a bin somewhere, left to rot in a landfill for any number of years.
To the quirky girl, it was an artifact. The quirky girl saw it as something special. A thing of beauty, even. Maybe something to be preserved. Because she could look beyond what the usual resident of Nero would see. When the girl looked upon the dirty pages of the book, she didn't just see dirty pages. If anyone in Nero payed even the slightest bit of attention, they'd notice the pages of the book are in fact, not as empty as previously believed. If they weren't so ignorant, they'd realize the Aislinn Ryers, the quirky girl, notices what they don't see. They'd know she isn't just an insignificant girl. If anyone in that town were to even look up, they'd see something worth noticing, but they are all too busy being wrapped up in themselves to see something plain. Something right in front of them.
You see, not everything is as it seems.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
It's a really good piece of writing, I love the way you manage to say so much in only a couple of paragraphs!
I only have a few tiny critisisms, just some suggestions really.
I would break up the big paragraphs into smaller sections, just to make it easier to read. The content's good, so splitting it up will just make it more convenient for the reader. Just a suggestion though!
My only other thing is the word "tarnished" ;
I think you should maybe reconsider the word "tarnished" here, but that's just because I read it and think of it in the context of metal being tarnished.
I really like your story, though!
Wow, it is a beautiful piece, I can say that much. But there are somethings that I would have to change if it was MY work. Like how in the first paragraph it says
I would remove the word 'girl' after the word 'extraordinary' only because it seems to me that it is said a little too often in that area. Next, I wanted to say bravo for the perfect use of the word 'nor' I don't hear or see that a lot in short stories. Also, in paragraph one where you say I would change the sentence to "So with her questioning hazel eyes and her bronze colored hair, she was mostly ignored." Now that I believe that I've covered paragraph one, on to paragraph two! In paragraph two you say Instead of that coma being there it should be "It was a shabby looking thing. Not pretty or brightly colored." In my mind that sounds more professional. Next, I wanted to say that you did an amazing job on painting a picture of what the book looked like. Now I would like to say that in paragraph two you said but in paragraph one you said that no one really paid her any mind because she was different. So I would change it to "When the girl saw it, joy lit up her face and the look of fascination could not be ignored as she flipped through the tarnished, blank pages." And last but not least, paragraph three (sorry if I'm tarring apart your work) you say "quirky girl" a lot. So I would take the second one out and change it to just "she" or "girl". Also I would take the out. And I believe that the "the" should be a "that"? I'm not too sure on that one though. And last of all I believe that your ending was amazing.