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OKay, so i had a quick skim, and I feel that I need to know more about your character. You are explaining it to us, in a way that makes ...

Hmmmm. I interesting. I like this, but it kind of moves too fast. I think the begining of a story should be more spread out, and you start pushing these ...

Huh... it was a very good story. i swould only say that you could make the story more beilievable. For example, how did the evli people know that he had ...

Okay, i just read the story and i thought that it ad potential, but you have to stop the whole 'SHUT THE BOOK!' I don't like it when people shove ...

I loved this, and I'm happy to see you back on YWS again, KJ. The mystery, suspense, and reality to your story drew me in. It was really good. However, ...

Okay, I'm back. Sorry I was late... again... but I do have to say that I enjoyed the story. First of all, since Rosay has gotten all of the nit-picks, ...

Okay, just a quick one for a quick chapter. I think it's good, although I would like to see the imagry of the electro cutters some more. i have no ...

Okay, here to review, as promised... yes, I know it's a little late; long story. Well, it seems that Writewhatiwant and Dementer have gotten to all of the nit-picks, so ...

I must say, you have a very nice writing style. I was gripped, and the twist at the end... lovely. Only thing to point out here is that you say ...

Okay, so I get that they're brothers, but you don't specify their ages. Just something that you could think about, otherwise you did great! Honesty, a picture worth a thousand ...

Okay, i just started to read this one, and I can say that I have no quarrys with it. You had excelent writing skill there,a nd the interaction between the ...

You could perhaps relate this back to life... like you make me whole or something... maybe? Okay... perhaps not, but you could! Just some general things here: I have a ...

All I can really comment on is the fact that you should have a comma at the end of each line, and a full stop at the last line for ...

Okay... look, I'm sorry. I have to g to bed. i started reading, and it looks like you have some really long sentences, but I like that. you have adistinct ...

Okay... mainly, you need to add character to your character . By what I have read, she seems one-sided and not at all human [or angel... whatever] It seems to ...