ashleylee

This was good Q-Pride! :wink: There were some grammatical mistakes and what-not, but who doesn't! So no worries there. But I do think that some of the beginning was like ...

Oooo, creepy creepy and more creepiness! It gave me the shivers, your last line! Nicely done! :D I do have some advise for you, however: Animals have feelings too Like ...

Mysterious beginning and a good start! :D I think you have a pretty good idea where you are going with this. It seems well thought out. I didn't really see ...

Hello Curlyqpride! :D I skimmed over the chapters again...and I still feel that chapter one is too fast. I feel that one moment they are just meeting and next your ...

Interesting...but super confusing. At some points, I wasn't sure what has your MC a half-devil or something?? I advise expanding and elaporating more. It feels as though you are missing ...

This was SUPER long but immensely entertaining. I, myself, am writing a crime/police story thing. But I posted it in Other Fiction...maybe I should have done it here?? But anyway, ...

Wow...you are making my decision so very hard. I absolutely loved both prologues...but I think the first one is much more powerful. I suggest you use that one and then ...

Good start...but the ending kind of caught me off gaurd. It felt as though there should be more but it was like you ended at a random spot. Maybe expand ...

Hi! And Welcome to YWS! I hope you enjoy the site as much as I have! :wink: But back to your Prologue... I felt as though it was kind of ...

Okay, at first I thought they were like in a restaurant or something so when they started undressing...I was like...um WHAT?? But then I figured out that they were in ...

This was good :D Very, very intense. It kept me reading right into the end. However, I don't feel attached in any way to these people. I mean, I know ...

Beautifully done! :D I know I am going to sound like a broken record as most people have already said this but you seem like a very natural writer. The ...

This was good...but sort of confusing. Which girl is he talking about??? Who is "she" and who is "her"?? That part was super hard to follow. But the storyline was ...

WHAT?? HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME?? I would like to know what happens! You can’t just leave us hanging like that!!!!! Or maybe you can… -lol- :D :D ...

WOW! I don’t think I have read something that long in a very long time. I mean, how many pages was that?? But that’s beside the point. Your story was ...