archer123

Umm.... it is really short. I would maybe go back and fill out your characters more too.... and add a few things here and there because it sounds very rushed ...

Okay. I like this story. I think it has a lot of potential, but you really need to fill out your characters more. They are sort of..... boring to read ...

Okay. I really liked this story. I didn't read any of the other reviews so if I repeat anything I'm sorry. :arrow: FIRST OF ALL: 'I dreaming I was wandering ...

Hey dragnet! I haven't heard from you in a while. Now about your story. I liked it, a lot. One thing I have to say is, you have Matt sighing,..... ...

Okay. First of all I really like tis story. But you need to be a little more descriptive. My dad always tells me, "If you are not sure descriptive enough, ...

Okay. I have to admit, I didn't read this all the way through. Not because i thought it was bad, but because it was hard to read like Tex said. ...

I thought it was pretty good. I didn't see too many spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. Although I'm not the person you should be asking about spelling and grammar. I ...

It seems kind of abrupt to me. You are kind of rushing things along when Elizabeth is describing herself. What do her friends look like? What do her class rooms ...

this is a very good start! Realizing she was till awake, the man turned her over and began punching her over and over again I agree with chichi on this. ...

This was really good. You said that you were afraid to post this,...... well don't be. You have a good start to a possibly publishable story one day. I didn't ...

It is really good. I would like to read more. :D Please pm me if you write more or if you post something new! Denisse found himself slowly falling in ...

Well written. I is a lot better than the first version. I live on 92 Ledge Road in Coventry, Rhode Island. My phone number is 397-7767 Is this your real ...

It was really good. Quote "Very well but make it quick." End Quote I think you would be better off if you said, "Very well, but be quick" It make ...

Wonderful!! How about Doctor Winchester? Ohh... I did see a couple of spelling mistakes but other than that it was absolutly wonderful and I would like to read more!! :lol: ...

Briliant. Absolutly, positvly, briliant. You are a wonderful writer. You have great descriptions. You can really picture the scenery in your mind. I felt like I was actually there. It ...