alwaysawriter

Hi Day. You were right--this isn't all that long of a chapter but its a good length. Grammar the clock, the time Try replacing the comma with a semi-colon. The ...

I haven't read her new book but the ones in Among the Hidden series are awesome. We started to read it in class one time then the people got bored ...

This was really short so I'd make this a prologue for the story. well, it Instead of the comma, try And. It flows better. As my neon You used As ...

Hi Kalila. It didn't catch my eye at first but that's simply because I didn't expect a story to be about a pug, not anything that's your fault. Nitpicks: But ...

I read the Pretties but I didn't get it because I hadn't read the first book in the trilogy and was trying to stay on the track around my school's ...

I had to read it for my summer reading project. It took me a few weeks to read it. I hated it. Some parts were interesting but it went like ...

The amount of calories getting up, getting showered, getting dressed and the ten minute walk to the lecture would burn off failed to entice her to open the curtains. I ...

But did Don't start a sentence with an interjection. paranoia, he Semi-colon instead of a comma. her, and Take out And and replace the comma with a semi-colon. tomorrow, and ...

Nothing seemed to go wrong at that moment. You don't need to say that; its a repeat of what you just said. fun, but No comma. all so Take out ...

That was a sad story but you ended it well. There weren't many mistakes: I wasn’t sure if he liked them, he seem to frown Replace the comma with As. ...

4 minutes Spell out four. master’s next slave, Period, not a comma. Tranquellin , Period, not a comma. but I had Take the first word out. The reward was well ...

her, she’s Semi-colon instead of a comma. she’s got Capitalize the first letter of the first word. showing it. Add quotation marks after it. door, she Semi-colon. But there was ...

She ran the whole distance to the cherry blossom field; she could barely contain her excitement. "She ran the whole distance to the cherry blossom field, barely containing her excitement." ...

I thought it was good. There are a few things that you could have reworded though: chapa Chapter. A ghost, Try a semi-colon instead of a comma. unable to escape, ...

I liked it, as I had the first one. I only noticed a few things. smoke, and No comma. smell, Try a semi-colon. just freedom Maybe replace Just with Only? ...