Forever rewrite chapter 3

by Alice
  • July 24, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter
  • Romantic
  • Forever series
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Comments & reviews · 2
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User avatar
Teague
Comment
Teague commented · Mon Aug 04, 2008 9:47 pm

**LOCKED** by request.

-:pirate3:

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alwaysawriter
Review
alwaysawriter wrote a review · Fri Jul 25, 2008 12:22 am

her, she’s
Semi-colon instead of a comma.

she’s got
Capitalize the first letter of the first word.

showing it.
Add quotation marks after it.

door, she
Semi-colon.

But there was no
Don't start a sentence with an ellipse.

red
Read.

Pride and Prejudice, it had an unforgettable
"Pride and Prejudice had a unforgettable..."

book, but
No comma.

clever bastard.
Put these in italics.

constantly, hanging
Replace the comma with Of.

Their senior year was ending soon,
Period, not a comma.

Dreaming of silly things that she assumed every book junkie dreamed of: neglected library books attacking her.
I liked this ending.

Anyway, good job. :)



A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul, and that, I am sure, is why he does it.
— Roald Dahl