alohajuice

It read very pretty. Nice Shakespearian language you used I don't get the 'stain' thing. The only line that stood out - Through storm, I'll love, through light and rain

Mars that was a fine poem. I like that message of leaving but not really leaving. Its been becoming more frequent and yours is written well The imagery of the ...

Alright guys, first of all, I do know how to use correct grammar and spelling. I typed this on the spot without going back to edit. So chill. I don't ...

"In the dark, winds part Twilight soul" yep. i capitalized I because 'In the dark, winds part' is one thought. and the second is 'Twilight soul and hawaiian heart'. i ...

Hey aloha! So Sonny is...Sage, right? Might be a good idea to choose one or the other, otherwise it's a bit confusing; I thought we had three main characters at ...

"What I thought went up were the clouds" I like the idea of thoughts going upward. I think it's really nice sounding. Did you mean "where", though? Were = "They ...

I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love I really think that the repetition is unnecessary. You can make that just one "I'm in love" and then add an ...

Oops type-o! sorry about that and i agree that it should have some explanation. i actually wrote it 'cause i wrote this story about a musician who falls in love ...

If your intention with this poem is to make us "feel", well then you are successful because each line is charged with just enough emotion (with images to boot!) for ...

thank you for your reviews. who is Miss Mars btw? more reviews please!!! it would be great

Erm... it looks almost like you based this off of Twilight. Try making it a tiny bit more original, dear. Originality is always key. ergh. i shouldn't have named it ...