ahhhsmusch

It looks like you left out the word "to" between "wanted" and "know" on line 5. I really enjoyed reading this out loud. The rhyming is there, but doesn't feel ...

Oh, well I thought that the first line being "his name was Edwin" was a good hook. And no problem!

Just some nit picks The future is uncertainty, - either change uncertainty to uncertain or add an "an" before there’s us, and there’s enough. - there's enough should be that's ...

I've never really called myself a fan of poetry, but I like this. The only grammatical error I saw was in the second line where unnatural should be unnaturally. You ...

My comments will be between double parenthesis I suddenly woke up. I was breathing raggedly. I was not even wondering why such a dream occurred to me. Why? Because I ...

I really liked reading this. I like how you began and finished with nearly the same paragraph. It gave this a good sense of cloture. However, there were a couple ...

This piece is interesting. I feel as if the message that is being sent is that the 1990s generation is a generation of sheep and there are only a handful ...

Thanks for the advice. Great advice. I've been considering reducing the husband's long speaking role in the last third of the story and shortening it so to make his description ...

Also, if you have the time, could you read one of my stories? I would rather have an opinion than thorough, grammtical corrections.

I really enjoyed reading this. Definitely one of the better stories I've read on YWS. I liked how you built the suspense with the flashbacks while supplying the final act ...

I feel like this story is incomplete. It is written well and has good flow and structure (maybe to much structure as Shinda says), but it seems as if this ...

-didn't mean to post this as a reply to Jas

You mentioned the pill problem in the introduction and the conclusion, but very rarely and vaguely mentioned anything about it throughout the rest of it. I know that we are ...