Published July 13, 2012
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,720 Literary Works • 673,676 Reviews
Nice, simple, and straight to the point. I loved the uniqueness and the way you added that extra bit of meaning at the end , reminding "them" that their days were numbered for one reason or another.
I also liked the fact that you made one of those pieces of writing that you have to re-read, and think about to fully understand their meaning.
I admire you ability to create such depth with so few words.
Keep writing!
w&w
this is quite an interesting poem; short and precise!
i love how the fact that becuase it is sort, it emphasises on their 'temporary' days- which in fact, leaves ominous overtones. Your point is consise, and i especially like the second stanza; keep up the good work!
Hi!
This was a very enjoyable poem! I felt that it was relatively easy to understand and made good use of storytelling techniques. I liked the fact that it was short, as I feel a lot of the time these days poets make poems which last a tad bit too long, sometimes dragging their point along, to the point where the meaning is lost and annoyance is found. That wasn't the case for this poem, however. Keep on writing, you obviously have a talent when it comes to poetry!
Ben Dietz.
Hi!
I would just like to convey my support of the above comments, because I would just be repeating them! I particularly like the line 'fell out of their mouths,' powerful stuff, good work!
sf