ZakkuAlpha

Good chapter =D. I like the beginning of this story, a normal day at school. Always a good way to start one. This chapter is pretty realistic. Zeke being jealous ...

WOW! This was awesome! You writing flowed very well and the descriptions were very detailed and well written. I like how you kind of left a bit of open places ...

hey my bff kopaka xD, Damn That's the first thing that came to mind when i read this. I never realized that you were this good of a writer. OK ...

Hey again, The story keeps getting better. One thing I like is that you keep switching the view at which the story is told. I like that. It's very interesting ...

First of all, I really like this story! The idea is so original and the writing is very well done. I like how you don't come write out and say ...

Very nice little preview of your story. I found it interesting to read. I love how you describe the sky and the narrators emotions, you did a very good job ...

This a very good start to a story. I enjoyed reading it and it was very interesting. I didn't find many mistakes because of how short it was. I'm pretty ...

Hey ya, I'm Zakku :) here to give you a review. I really liked your use of repeating "But I am calm." I kind of got lost in the story, ...

Ooh, the story gets more suspenseful. I loved how you continued the story, boy it's creepy and I enjoyed reading it. I like how you made the character tell herself ...

Very nice poem. I liked it :). I have a few things that you could improve upon. Like Audy said, stay consistent with your capitalization and fix those spelling mistakes. ...

Very nice :). This is really emotional which is good. When a writer puts alot of emotion into their work it makes it seem more real and less fake. Either ...

Hey, I'm very happy that you wrote more :). I'll get right to the review. "glanced at her knew home." I think you meant to say "new home" "Her stepmother, ...

Hey Mars, This is quite an interesting story. I just have a few things that might help you revise this. At the beginning I was quite lost, because I thought ...

This is a very interesting story. A few things you could fix up: At that thought, Julia felt the smile slip from her face. They were gone. Both of them. ...

Bravo Bravo, This is a really good start to a story. The way you describe the movement and emotions of the characters was really good, I had no problem visualizing ...