Yatta!

Ah, I dislike the title though. That, I would change.

"The Turtle shies from acts of love displayed by means of touch. Then cries at night, its mind in flight, for even just a hug." Really. It's brilliant, beautiful, well-written. ...

"Fumes of sadness?" FUMES? Rethink the word choice.

clichéd.

Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you liked it.

Thank you for your review. Do you have ideas for a title? I can't think of anything. Also, thank you for your words of concern.

Thank you for your review. The purpose of the last line was meant as a last effort to convey the entirety of the poem. I framed it in quotes to ...

Thank you for your review. I don't think I can write anymore though. I haven't any answers, words of inspiration, or messages to give. I just wanted to describe it ...

Thank you for the review. I'm glad it could strike a chord with you. I don't think I can make it any longer than that though. That's just how I ...

You've got flow. Sure there are some unnecessary bits, but its hard for me, personally, to peel back the essential from the nonessential, so that'll be up to you. I ...

Yo, Your writing style is really good. It flows. Grammar is pretty good. The characters seem pretty well defined. I don't know what this story is about, but, as just ...

Too choppy.

I think you were on an alliteration high and it's all groovy baby. Yatta!

Yeah, i agree. this poem is definitely "inadequate" (coincidentally so, too!). I don't remember posting it it obviouosly isn't one that leaves an impression. Thank you all for the reviews, ...