Writersdomain

Short, but powerful. Not astounding, but very nice rhyming and beautiful word choice. There was only one thing that bothered me. it hits like sorrow, guilt, and pain, and drives ...

I really enjoyed reading this poem. As TBR stated, it had a nice tune, but I do think it needs some improvement... and that's why I'm here. :wink: Watching days ...

I really liked your metaphor of being on the boat of love and how the storm seems so split you apart, but you are still loved. It was so true ...

As said above, the lack of rhythm really bothered me. Every time I thought I had finally pinpointed your rhythm, you changed it. At the beginning, it seemed you were ...

Vocabulary was beautiful. Word choice amazing. Keep using those gorgeous words of yours! I had just a few suggestions: halls of misery slowly crumbling hiding secrets within the layers I ...

I really loved how it flowed and your rhyming was very beautiful. I loved your choice of words, very meaningful and powerful, especially since I'm used to pet peeving about ...

I must agree with timjim. The point is clear, yes, almost too blatantly clear. You have an idea here and if you want to write a poem about, you do ...

I liked your last line and the basic message of this poem, but a lot of the rhythms seemed off and there was some forced rhyming. I agree with randy ...

I found this very interesting. A little confusing at times, but good altogether. I only noticed a few small things: Tracing their way to depression end A place of marshmallow ...

I agree with xanthan gum that this poem could use some more length to demonstrate the feeling more powerfully, or even better than more words, more meaningful words that can ...

I agree with many of the above. This was beautiful overall. With you it’s my time to be free, To touch, To learn, To see who’s the real me, Cause ...

Awesome hook at the beginning and I can see the plot forming. There were a just few things I thought I should point out... She was running, but she didn’t ...

This sounds like the beginning of the story, so you don't need to explain the entire storyline in this, but hints at the storyline would do this piece some good. ...

If you put it in stanzas, it would be a lot easier to critique and I would gladly do it, but for now, I can only offer a few suggestions ...

This is great. With your good choice of words and my love for clarinets combined, I loved this. Your comparison of the man's smile and the ligature is really neat ...