Published February 19, 2006
Loneliness comes in a wave of tears,
With broken hopes, and isolated fears,
where sadness treads, far quite unseen,
and no one cares for your well- being,
it hits like sorrow, guilt, and pain,
and drives some people very insane.
Yes, that's loneliness, and now it comes,
hurt some others, pass by some.
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Canary word: Present
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141,418 Literary Works • 674,397 Reviews
Simple. That's all I can say.
It was simple.
Hopefully your next work will expand upon ideas and be a bit longer.
Short, but powerful. Not astounding, but very nice rhyming and beautiful word choice.
There was only one thing that bothered me.
Firstly, I didn't like the word 'like' here. You could just say 'it hits with sorrow, guilt and pain' and it would flow more and I didn't like your 2nd line. It didn't fit with the mood of the rest of the poem.
I loved these lines, beautiful.
Good job, keep writing. I look forward to reading more of your work...
I didn't think it was brilliant, but I certainly liked it.