Writersdomain

This was a quite good first chapter. You introduce your primary character masterfully and give us some good glimpsese into her personality. This is well-written. The one overarching thing that ...

Hello! Welcome to YWS! You have some good ideas here, so I'm going to give you a few things to work on. You're major problem here is that you have ...

As Firestarter has mentioned, I think a fresher outlook would greatly improve this poem. I noticed throughout the poem that you are very fond of similes. Now, I have nothing ...

This is pretty good. As BlackDove, said your word choice is very crisp. Your writing style is very intuitive and I am impressed by how much of the character you ...

Fascinating... you do a masterful job of pulling us into the character so the reader immediately gets a feel for your narrator, which is very good. I love how you ...

"We gotta stop trusting those literary agents, I'm telling ya. Give me a squad, we'll grab one of them at gunpoint, drag their ass back here and beat it out ...

This is MUCH better, Killer-Ewok! Very nicely done! Your pace is much more believable; you describe the setting well and without too many words and your word choice has improved. ...

"TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE!" roared Arieras. [intense beginning- catches reader attention] He hit the orc across the face with his shield. "I..I.. don't know" The orc stuttered. [no slight ...

Hello! I liked the way you created suspense in this story and left us hanging a little near the end. You gave us enough information to understand a snippet of ...

Hey yoha-ahoy! This poem was very straightforward and you definitely conveyed your point, but I think it could have been done in a more creative way. In this poem, you ...

*claps* Yay! You're writing poetry! This was very well done! I echo all the comments above, just had one small thing I noticed high healed shoes Do you mean high-heeled? ...

:evil: s...p...e...l...l...i...n...g ERRORS!!!! *twitches and trembles* PET PEEVE!!! :x ...besides that, brilliance, smaur, pure brilliance... it was touching. :shock: :lol:

Love the singing! EXPLOSIVES! hee hee! :twisted: :shock:

Welcome to YWS! Okay, first I am going to say (referring to the poll) that you should keep posting and writing no matter how harsh or unsatisfied people are with ...

This was interesting and sweet. I liked the theme of the poem, but I felt you had much room for improvement here. Welcome to YWS She has so much, But ...