Writersdomain

Hey there! So I got around to this sooner than expected. :P Whenever I get a request for a crit, I always print the piece out and make comments there, ...

Yay! I finally got around to reading this! It was very good; I am glad to see Addo and Myles working together - my two favorite characters. Just a few ...

Hallo! I quite enjoyed this. You have such neat names - Malfalcone, Icthus. What fun. Your style is very beautiful and is able to convey a lot with little words. ...

This was quite good. An intriguing begining - it hooked me almost immediately and I love your style. I really don't have any qualms about this piece. Usually, in beginnings, ...

Hmmm, pretty good so far. I love fire, so I found this story very enjoyable. :P I would have expected Mary to be panicking more because of the fire. She ...

Hello! :D As has been said above, this was quite good. Your description is absolutely gorgeous and there were next to no awkward sections that bothered me. Beautiful, in all. ...

Eeep! I wrote a review of this last night, but then my internet crashed. *stabs computer* Ah well, I'll try to rewrite it. Yay! I finally got to read something ...

This is a decent start. As Ofour said, there isn't much to critique here and that is the reason why it seems to lead nowhere. You have introduced no conflict, ...

Indeed, much better. It no longer seemed rushed and you did an excellent job of adding more detail so it sounded like more than spouting off information. You added a ...

Hello there, FUZZHEAD! So, I read it! It is a decent start. Before I tell you my concerns and impressions, I'm going to give you a friendly reminder to insert ...

Hello there, FireArris! As you have no comments as of yet, I decided to stop by and give you some tips. So, I am not going to go through this ...

On the Prologue: It was a pretty good start- you have some good description and your character is very interesting; I'm going to list off a few issues I had ...

Hello there, Brizingr. Welcome to YWS. :D I feel that the suggestions Elein gave will help you editing the grammar and technical stuff in this, so I am just going ...

A very good bit here - I enjoyed it a lot. You have a beautiful writing style with good deatil - I am very impressed. I like how you developed ...

Goodness, that was a long post, M.B. What is it missing? Substance, detail, emotion. This is a good skeleton of a story; however, I felt it was very rushed and ...