Hiya, honey. I didn't realize that there was a prologue, so I went straight to the first chapter. So, here it goes. If you have any questions or my handwriting is just that horrible shout out to me.
Ta,
Cal.
CLICHED EMO PRINCESS
You are riding the cliched emo pricess fence, you haven't fallen over but watch out in the future for it.
CHARACTERIZATION
You do quite a bit of telling us about characters in the first chapter, rather than showing us. Try to let characterization come out in the story.
SIBLINGS
I really liked the relationship between Firya and Tomas, nicely done.
Points: 8846
Reviews: 531
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