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Re: Not Nature's Definition of Love
I see there's another poem from you LiteHawk =) This one feels less grand then the one about loosing sense to write though. I'll explain. I want to change the ...
Feb 13, 2010 -
Re: Cracking Ice
Hiya! Alright, let's start with the critique first and then the opinion =) I do not know if you tried to have it rhyme, I can't any kind of a ...
Feb 13, 2010 -
Re: Our Nature
Kamas, you've stolen everything there's to say >:0 I agree with Kamas about it being too repetitive. As I myself learned, long verses are pretty much counter-productive. Your poem does ...
Feb 13, 2010 -
Re: Weakness?
Hiya! Well, let's start with what caught my eye at the poem first. I think that your trapt should be trapped . Next thing that I noticed is that you ...
Feb 13, 2010 -
Re: You Came Too Late
Hiya! I'm Kyo and I'll review this today. Now, I believe you used free verses... There's no proper rhyming. Also, I recommend using punctuations in the poetry, so the reader ...
Feb 13, 2010 -
Re: Hurt 'em
Erm, I'm sorry I'm going to go harsh with this. The words used created a bit of mystery for me and I actually tried to "decipher" what you wanted to ...
Jan 12, 2010 -
Re: Fruitless Life
Greetings to the YWS community =) Well, I fail to find any kind of a rhythm at end of the sentences, thus whole piece of work feels like a ... ...
Jan 12, 2010 -
Re: Burdens
Hi! I've read your poem and it kind of pulled me in, so I have to admit that your poem is a good piece of work =) I found the ...
Jan 12, 2010 -
Re: Emilia
Hi! Seeing as this was just posted and I've got the time I'll try reviewing your work =) First of all I'd like to point out a possible mistake ( ...
Jan 12, 2010 -
Re: Swing Chapter 2
I'm sorry you won't find my review really that great as for sure many others can write, I'm still new at it ^^ I'll go by the example of some ...
Jan 11, 2010 -
Re: Rain
I have to admit I agree with people before me that this is a really great piece! I really liked to read it and I'd love to see your next ...
Jan 11, 2010 -
Re: Dark Tide (Chapter 2.1)
Hiya! Seeing that you haven't had this reviewed yet and I've got some time, I've tried reviewing it, so here goes. I've tried correcting a few places that repeat later ...
Jan 9, 2010 -
Re: Apparition (Novel excerpt)
I'd agree with pudin.junidf , I'm not any specialist in terms of writing, but from a viewpoint of a casual reader, I found it confusing and flat at times. As ...
Jan 3, 2010
