Published February 11, 2010
Turn my face to the wind
I go against the force.
I fight nature's clenched fist
And get blown way off course.
-
There has to be some way
To fight the ultimate,
To do more than I can
To become intimate.
-
I want to change the rut
Make a new course for you,
I want to make you love,
It takes not one but two.
-
Ones to marry the ones
Tens to tens they all say,
But with more than instinct
Us humans were all made.
-
Natural selection,
It must be tangible.
I want to make the mind
What makes us loveable.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,885 Literary Works • 673,697 Reviews
I love your poem! It is really good and creative! It really speaks to me. keep on writing!
I see there's another poem from you LiteHawk =)
This one feels less grand then the one about loosing sense to write though. I'll explain.
I seriously have no idea what we're supposed to think by that. Then, it felt like the rhyming broke there.
In later stanzas the rhyming slightly broke at places, but otherwise it's a well written piece of work and the theme is more or less fresh, it's not cliche as far as I know ^^
Keep writing and don't be discouraged if it feels like you're no good. If you take a slight break for ideas and then just keep trying to write, you'll be improving and that's all we need =) To improve, to write better, to create and succeed.
Kyousuke