Not Nature's Definition of Love

Turn my face to the wind
I go against the force.
I fight nature's clenched fist
And get blown way off course.
-
There has to be some way
To fight the ultimate,
To do more than I can
To become intimate.
-
I want to change the rut
Make a new course for you,
I want to make you love,
It takes not one but two.
-
Ones to marry the ones
Tens to tens they all say,
But with more than instinct 
Us humans were all made.
-
Natural selection,
It must be tangible.
I want to make the mind
What makes us loveable.
  

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
callmeLily73
Review

I love your poem! It is really good and creative! It really speaks to me. keep on writing! :smt039 :smt038 :smt035 :smt034 :smt031 :smt026 :smt024 :smt023 :smt020 :smt016 :smt006 :D :) 8) :lol: :P :wink: :mrgreen: :smt003 :smt002 :smt001 :smt004

User avatar
Wolferion
Review

I see there's another poem from you LiteHawk =)

This one feels less grand then the one about loosing sense to write though. I'll explain.

I want to change the rut
Make a new course for you,
#FF0000 ">I want to make you love,
It takes not one but two.



I seriously have no idea what we're supposed to think by that. Then, it felt like the rhyming broke there.

In later stanzas the rhyming slightly broke at places, but otherwise it's a well written piece of work and the theme is more or less fresh, it's not cliche as far as I know ^^

Keep writing and don't be discouraged if it feels like you're no good. If you take a slight break for ideas and then just keep trying to write, you'll be improving and that's all we need =) To improve, to write better, to create and succeed.

Kyousuke



I would always rather be happy than dignified.
— Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre