WitheringHyacinth

There are a lot of things that are logically inaccurate in this essay. A lot of it implies children have a deep personality and initiative when they don't really. As ...

Trinique hurries to her economics class half way across town. Her tired feet beat the pavement as she pushes through the crowds of college students that are just standing around ...

Since, this is short, I might as well do a sentence by sentence review... "It's the feeling I got when I fist looked into your eyes." - I believe 'fist' ...

The chapter starts and ends mid-dialogue, which I believe isn't the most gripping place to start. Speaking of dialogue, I feel like it's rather hurried and inconsistent, at times with ...

So, the chapter continues from a cliffhanger and ends with yet another one. Not that I personally have anything against cliffhangers, but it doesn't really count as a cliffhanger, given ...

The opening of the story is not as gripping as it could have been, showing a rather mundane and harmless flashback for a rather heavy story. It would have made ...

The story opens up interestingly, with death in the first paragraph. However, there are a few errors with the commas. The passive action takes a lot of potential from the ...