VousEsEtonnant

JUST DONT SPREAD THE JELLY! Is that what you mean? Like, dont spread evil.

good point. would poeple worry so much about what we looked like if we couldnt see? i think not. good job.

I feel like this girl. That is a good thing. I mean, I've been in that situation many times, so it's easy to relate, but still. I like the emotion ...

duuuuuuuuuude........... Wow. honest? great great job.

That was fantablousness! I swear, I literally felt my heart speeding up. the tempo adds to that, the word choice, the structure.. it all played nicely into your emotional build ...

*laughs* KatTrain, last three lines you critiqued, starting with "what a shame we all became" thats her signature. PurpleHeart, you did a fantabulous job. Especially for an on the spot ...

Also how we fought so much and i had to say things to her like "its hard to trust someone who always let you down" at the age of 7. ...

Hehehehe. I like this poem. Its really nice, rhythmic, and totally understandable. Great job :)

Omg B, i was thinking the same thing! Thanks guys :)

I agree, the poem is really good, but 1) it needs punctuation 2)the rhyming puts on restrictions, so you need to hit the right word. I think you missed once ...

Thanks. I did not plan this one. The words were already there, I just needed to write them down.

Oop, I said numbness twice.

I have dealt with this before, cutting myself. So, I think your message is beautifully thought out, but try not using rhyme next time. You will find it opens up ...

I love how you took death off of its mysterious murky pedastool and gave him a sense of humor. This is great!

Thanks bguys! I knew this poem was off, i just couldnt tell how. thanks for pointiing it all out