Twit

Um, punctuation? Um, grammer? Um, spelling? And I'm not a fan of suicides. Points for spacing it out - I never spaced out my work. Name sezitahll! -Twit

Chapter Four: Fish and Cats After that broken thread, I simply could not think what could happen next. Carry on looking for another brown-skinned bloke, I supposed. It was so ...

Cute. I know that isn't very helpful, but that's all I can think of, sorry. It sounds sad and thoughtful, and I think it flows well. The "little birdie" makes ...

Goodie! The next bit! I know that it's more helpful to say what wrong with this, but I honestly can't. Never mind, Myth, or someone else will be more eagle-eyed ...

ouchie! where's Tammy?! You don't need to be 100% exact as to the court details, as half of us don't know what it should be like in real life. I ...

Darn Amber! Jamie wants/needs her! Suspense . . . suspense . . . suspense . . .

LOTR! LOTR! LOTR!

I like this. It's simple, but it has RHYME!! Goodie, I love rhymes, cos I can never rhyme successfully myself. I like the last line best, it rounds it off ...

Aw, pants, now her mum's gone bad. Kah, when's the next bit? Like Miyaviloves said, this didn't go much place, and not much happened. Still... -ST

Don't care. Wilde stinx. :mrgreen: So there. :razz:

I write poetry worse than a Vogon, but thank for commenting! :)

You-you-you-you don't know what Star Wars is? Star Wars? *faints* Even my Star Wars-loathing elder brother knows what Star Wars is! Well, he'd have to know what it is, wouldn't ...

Hmm, isn't that like finding a satsuma in your dressing gown pocket? Shouldn't it have a defined meaning? I prefer poems not to be too ambiguous. But, that's just me!

Cliffie! Surely she's be let off, tho? Clear-cut self-defence, ain't it? -Twit

Woo! Werewolves are cool! And they're Royal as well! *cough* Well, anyway... Good beginning!