z

Young Writers Society



Sunset

by flowerchild


Half the sun shown on the horizon

Dust and sand settled as did the sun

Darkness will soon come

And the light soon will go

Colors are shining until moonbeams show

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253 Reviews

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Wed May 23, 2007 7:22 pm
CK Lynn says...



Very nice concept. The ryme almost seemed unintentional..very good. It needs a significant amount of development, though.




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16 Reviews

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Sat May 12, 2007 12:24 am
emooly says...



Wow, that was really nice.
I always try to write something about nature... but I always end up writing a novelette for teens... lol
Your really good for your age.

-Em to the Ily




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1176 Reviews

Points: 1979
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Fri May 04, 2007 9:49 pm
Twit says...



I like this. It's simple, but it has RHYME!! Goodie, I love rhymes, cos I can never rhyme successfully myself. I like the last line best, it rounds it off nicely.

-Twit





We know what we are, but know not what we may be.
— William Shakespeare