Twit

Yup, very good! I can't see anything wrong with this, or the first bit. :D Great!

*beams* Thanky for reviewing! An afreet is like a bad spirit, or evil thing, and mar is like "brat" or a very bad person. And the language is a mix ...

Everyone else has commented on the important stuff, so I'll just say as how this was good. Your dialogue's very good. :)

Nice n mysterious! Suspense and all. :D

Is there any point to this? You need to put more of it up - it just seems like a flash of what's going on. *shrugs* Could be just me.

Vogon's View: Pretty good. I liked the repetition of "chasing the white dragon", it sounds real cool and mystical. :D

Good! Alainna made some good points, so I'll just say as how I liked it. :)

Rats, no verdict yet, but great in-bewteen chapter! Side Note: You said "it's" instead of "its" in one place.

Yeah, is there gonna be more of this? Looks like you could expand this to make one good story. :)

More of your stuff, JC. :) And this looks good, altho, romance..... Still, good!

So SHORT!!! And the verdict's next... Oh the suspense!!

Chapter Five: Dark and Rainbow The sunny weather broke the next day; clouds hung in the sky like dirty, grey hankerchiefs filled with tears of rain. The others were busy ...

Well, thanx for reading it. :D A lot of the actual action writing was helped a lot by the film Young Winston ; you seen it? The thing is that ...

I *do* like this - I know you did such a good job correcting WAW, but honestly, I don't think there's anything that could be improved in here! On a ...

VERY good chapter!! I mean this really - your dialogue is very good, and your style is nice and easy to read. :D There were just a few errors I ...