Twit

Woop! Cliffhanger, LOVE the cliffhanger! This was the only error I could find. A wind rustled the leaves that were only just turning red with the onset of autumn, and ...

*blinks* Didn't know K'ratcha had such a ... colourful past. You've been very quiet about him, Gyr. :) "He is insubordinate, he resists punishment, he stirs dissention among the other ...

I liked it, but it was perhaps a little too maudlin? I'm not saying the point you make was maudlin, just the way it was presented. Too melodramatic. Can't crit ...

He's going to die, isn't he? I don't whether I should be glad or sad at that, I really don't. It’s white and beige paint was beginning to chip , ...

Good beginning, but you don't really enage with the characters. You start off with Chris, then you throw random thingies in about the other characters. Concentrate on one character and ...

Good! And interesting. I've missed a chunk of this, so I've gotta go and catch up. I only noticed a few errors. Knall’s bright yellow eyes staring into the soft ...

GREAT prologue! Wonderful "hook" to it - I want to read more, which is the whole point! There isn't much left for me to point out, but I did notice ...

Yay, been missing this, and I'm all out of touch with the story. I like Julius the way he is, don't change him. :wink: Sherman, after the Geezer noticed that ...

Man. Mary is insane. I don't think there's anything wrong with this, but get other people's opinion on it as well. All the lights in the house were on , ...

Good; I don't think there's much wrong with this chapter. Chapters sometimes become my favs for the oddest reasons. :) Whiperba chuckled and Brad watched the smoke drift across the ...

I don't mean to pry, but you said that this is true and personal. Do you have a scar, then? Is this your own experience? Sorry, if that's being nosy. ...

Elein saved me a job, by doing the line-by-line-nitpick (thanks Elein!), so nothing left for to say, just that I liked this. It seemed interesting, but a bit flat, if ...

If this was for an assignment, then it doesn't need a proper ending or plot. But if you're going to expand this - and it'd be good if you did ...

Very good! Interesting and all. :) If you don't scrub their dating history, then you should at least rewrite it, as the wording is too stiff. However, my parents did ...

Good! :) The major things were that you skipped tenses here: It was a massive horse, seventeen hands high, strong, proud, and it can run like a demon unleashed from ...