I know right now it doesn't seem fantasy but it is, just it doesn't come in until Chapter 2 or 3. I want honest opinions even if it's harsh.
Underline = Not sure what to do with this sentence.
Anyways thanks for any help given and yes I do know it's pretty bad, this is only my first draft (only edited for spelling and stupid typing errors) I've done enough talking... Enjoy the Story!
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Chapter One
The warm sunlight crept into the room and made her sketchbook glow, as her hand glided across the page like a dance. She was almost done she knew it and she couldn't stop, none of her being would let her. She was in a world of her own and there was no excaping it. When she finnaly drew the last line, erased the last mistake she looked at the picture. It captured every detail of her older brother Grady. In this picture he was happy, and several years younger then the last time she saw him. At the top she wrote 'Grady, age 14', then moved to the bottom corner and began her signature.
"Jen," a small voice said just as she finished the last letter. Jenelle looked up and saw her seven year old sister Annia in the doorway. "It's time to go."
"Alright." Jen said as she closed her sketchbook and stuffed it into her messenger bag. She put the strap across her shoulder and followed Annia downstairs.
"Ready to go?" Liam asked when they got outside. Liam worked for their grandfather, Jen never got a clear answer when it came to what he did but he was a good friend to her parents ever since they were young.
"Yeah." Jen said. Their foster parents could care less about her and her sister, the goodbyes were short. Jen and Annia got in the backseat of the taxi Liam had arrived in. Liam climbed into the passanger seat and the taxi driver drove them to the train station. They boarded a train and found their seats, Jen and Annia were quiet the entire time. This was their first time moving without Grady, and this was their least favorite move. It didn't help that their grandfather seemed to have ignored them for almost seven years, all they ever recieved from him was a few checks to get into private schools.
"Why now?" Jen said, spiting out a question she had been pondering ever since Liam called the day after Grady disappeared. She turned to Liam who seemed speachless.
"Jen, all I can tell you is that when your grandfather heard that Grady disappeared he was very upset and had me call your foster parents." Liam said choosing his words carefully, that was the last anyone said. Liam couldn't imagine what they were going through. After all the trio had beed inseparable and now that Grady was gone well they didn't feel like doing much. When the train stopped they got off and got into Liam's car. The train station was at the edge of a small town, Jen had just enough time to look around as they found Liam's car. The town was a basic little town with a post office, dinner, groshry store and a few independently owned stores.
Liam took Main Street south until the town disappeared and trees took the place of the stores. Jen watched the car's clock as every minute ticked away, it was exactly 15 minutes until they reached a gate. The gate opened as the car pulled up to it. Soon after the manor came into view, it was an old manor beautiful but unkept which gave it a mysterious feeling. More trees surrounded the back of the manor. Liam shut off the car infront of the manor and they got out, Jen couldn't help but stare at the archutecture, she had never seen anything like it.
"The Manor was origionally a watch tower, that's where the unique design comes from, they couldn't knock down the tower so they just built rooms around it." Liam said noticing their stares. He took out his keys and unlocked the door. The foyer of the manor was amazing, it was in a circle shape and about five stories up. Stairs lined the wall starting at her left and spiraling up towards the top until it vanished into the ceiling. The floors were white marble and blue marble double star shape, that looked so familiar to Jen. To her right there was a more modern swinging door that seemed out of place in the rustic medival look of the rest of the foyer.
"Hello!" He shouted, there was the sound of champering pots then a woman about Liam's age came from the swinging door. She was wearing an apron, jeans and an old t-shirt. "Trying to cook again I see."
"Hey Liam." she said laughing, then she noticed Jen and Annia. "I see you've brought our guest."
"Yeah, this is Jen and Annia." he said pointing to each in turn. "Jen and Annia this is Mooney. She's incharge of all household stuff, like cooking," he said, humor in his voice.
"Well I try. It's nice to meet you." she said. Liam looked at his watch.
"Eh, I'm late!" he said partly to himself. "Jen, Annia I'm going to leave you in the care of Mooney I got to go. See you two tonight at dinner." He said before rushing up the stairs.
"Well that's Liam for you." Mooney said rolling her eyes. "So do you girls want me to show you around?"
"Sure." Jen said speaking for herself and Annia.
"Okay, follow me." She said walking to the stairs, they climed until they reached a hallway, Mooney went down. Doors lined both walls, about five on each side. "This is what we like to call the Youth Hall. There are several bedrooms we had two made up just for you, I'll show them to you soon. What I really want to show you is at the end of the hallway."
The hallway suddenly opened into a large room lit by the sun's light. Annia's eyes widened and Jen's jaw dropped because the room was one of the coolest hang out rooms she had ever seen. An arrangement of pillows and beanbag chairs covered the floor a futton and sofa was in the middle of the room facing a widescreen TV, a movie Jen didn't reconnize played on the screen. The wall surrounding it was covered in bookshelves, which were filled with books, movies and games. A girl just younger than Annia sat on one of the beanbag chairs in the courner of the room reading a book, when they entered the room the girl looked up and shut her book then put it on the shelf. Suddenly the TV turned off and a boy around Jen's age looked up from the couch.
"Jen, Annia these are your cousins Caleb and Adelaide.. well we all call her Ellie-" said Mooney. Jen was more shocked then ever, according to every record they had seen their grandfather was their only living relative. No one had ever told them they had cousins, they new their father had a brother but that was as far as their knowledge had gone. Mooney noticed the expression on their faces, a bit confused on what was going on. "I'll show you your rooms and then I got to go make lunch."
Their rooms were nice and right across the hall from each other. Jen's was perfect for her, there was a border of cork board going around the middle of the wall. A chalk board covered one wall while the others were painted in slate blue. Her bed was an old iron framed bed with a warm looking blue, purple and black comforter. Over all the room screamed Jenelle Collier, plenty of places to draw and write on the walls, in one corner there was a big arm chair with a big lamp behind it. Annia's room was perfect for her too, shelves lined the room they were filled with books and other forms of information. Jen and Annia decided to unpack after lunch, so they went into the big room again.
"When's lunch?" Jen asked when she entered the room, Caleb looked up from the couch.
"In about five minutes." He said standing up. "We better get down to the kitchen."
Not saying it will, but just a note there.
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