Twit

Ah... :roll: My only nitpick is, I crossed my eyes at her in mock annoyance and shook out my made of bark-brown hair. Made = mane? Very interesting, thoughtful. I ...

One thing is that you switch tenses. I get it when the Stick People's Story is being told in present tense, but sometimes in Jerry's bit, it goes from past ...

Um, ew. He's so gorgeous His dazzling blue eyes Are enough to enchant a lion. "Enchant a lion" sounds a bit off. Use another whatever. The whole poem was... I ...

Try not to post too much of your stuff in one day. Keep it down to two. :) And remember to crit more than you post your own works. And ...

You need to write the story up on here, not put it up as a download. Copy and paste it into here from a Word document or whatever. And try ...

I liked it! It was too soon- it hurt too much for her to hold her mothers jewellery. Mothers = mother's Her mothers voice filled her ears; words of comfort, ...

Like what everyone else said, very good, and mae carnen for winning the contest! :D Just a few things that I really noticed: A flicker in the corner of his ...

Interesting. :) Just be sure to avoid making the Miokoda so invincible they're Mary-Sues. I know what you said about the hemlock, but maybe add in other stuff as well? ...

Hah, excellent books? He was fifteen when got published, but no big deal about that. Catherine Webb was fourteen, and her books are brilliant. I don't think she was on ...

Lol, that was so funny! :lol: “Dear, most babies are pink . Stephanie replied reasonably. Comma instead of a full stop. I'd nix the capitals and the excess of exclamation ...

A little histrionic, perhaps? You grind me beyond a pulp. That seems a bit out of place with They you snatch my broken self up Stuffing me deep inside your ...

And just to add my two cents: “Wipe that grin off your face, you’re making me sick,” A voice deep within the shadows bellowed... “So it’s a crime to smile ...

Nice. :) Yeah, I know that's not very much, or very helpful, but it was nice. It didn't have much of a plot, but it was... sweet? I don't know. ...

*Jack Sparrow like manner* Technically, there's no such bird as a seagull. The most common gull is a herring gull, or there's black-backed gulls, of which there is a lesser ...

Hm, not exactly my thing, but well writ and all. :) “You kids know what the best kind of prize is?” Mr. Finnigan asked, going back to the question. Some ...