Twit

Nice! The names are fine, and the references and all. Grammatically and structurely it was great, but it was a bit confusing in parts. The bit when the three are ...

Actually, it's easier for editing/reviewing if you post the whole thing up here like everyone else. Everyone's a nonconformist nowdays, but we crush them pretty quickly on this site. You ...

What is this exactly? It doesn't quite belong here, as this forum is for stories, not story background. It was well written, read like an essay, and some of your ...

Pretty good! I can't do a line-by-liner just now, but there are a few things I noticed. When the bag's chucked into Oliku's cell and he opens it, it sounds ...

Coo! More! :D I thought you'd given up on this! Onto the shredding! ... Um, what is it I'm supposed to do here again? Short but oh so sweet. Very ...

Yes, beginning should be stronger. Doesn't pregnancy mean mad rages and mood swings and uncontrollable violence and everything? Space out your dialogue at the beginning, you forgot to leave spaces. ...

Definately use it as a prologue! It'd make me curious to read the rest. ^_^ The only things I didn't like were, Sometimes there is one image that is so ...

Ooookay. Weird. ^_^ I slid a meat cleaver from the knife rack on the kitchen counter. Neat hook. Stealthily, I advance towards the kitchen table, to confront a small green ...

Lol. Personally I dislike the subject matter, because the Yank-country isn't the best, and to say so, is... very American. ^_^ And the teacher of answers to problems It has ...

Very good! There wasn't anything really to shred. It’s just… not working out. This whole… ‘I’m gonna live better’ lifestyle. It’s impossible for me to keep up with it! I ...

Lol, very funny. Is this just a oneshot thing, or are you continuing? I think it's fine as it is, imho. The only things I had trouble with was, The ...

Really, really good! I honestly couldn't find anything to shred. Well, maybe there was something, but I was enjoying it too much to notice. You have a very easy style, ...

Very nice! Nice imagery and description. Only, shouldn't it be "hermit crab"? Or is it an abnormally clever joke that I'm too thick to see? ^_~ Skimming the top , ...

Very neat... and dramatic. ^_^ I can imagine this as a song with a very strong beat that I'd play over and over. Yes, that means I like it. :roll: ...

1. Rebellious teen. Go careful; this is very cliched ground. >.< 2. Love the style and great description! 3. 16ish. Cool beginning, but part of me is looking out for ...