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Re: Sisters
This seems like it would be a great poem for a mug or something. I'll give her a vote of confidence: my sister has pulled out my hair before. She ...
Jul 10, 2009 -
Re: Angel at Rush Hour
Notes: Limbo’s
Jul 10, 2009 -
Re: Marionette
I think it would be good with a little more structure or rhyme... I'm not sure what kind, but I'm no good at poetry. Also, if you could be more ...
Jul 10, 2009 -
Re: Lithium
Bad news first: I love the conversational tone of this piece, but there were a lot of things that struck me as odd. Like how Saba is worried about being ...
Jul 1, 2009 -
Re: I was so in Love
Awww! That's so sad! I think a few of the commas were unnecessary, though, like you get caught at the end of each line instead of flowing where maybe it ...
Jun 30, 2009 -
Re: The Great Gatsby
Ewww. I never liked it much, maybe just because we read it in school, but I could never believe anything his characters did. They just seemed like they were out ...
Jun 29, 2009 -
Re: .
Wow, what a personal piece... I'd feel a bit bad critiquing it! However, I really don't understand what the problem was with the girl. Was ADHD the learning disability? Or ...
Jun 29, 2009 -
Re: An "Ode" to Whaling
It's a not a bad poem, especially not for a first try. Yes-- you get the old English wrong-- thou should be thine, in the way you're using it here, ...
Apr 25, 2009 -
Re: Life After Death part 1
There were quite a few mistakes, and I like to have my own little blood sport picking them out if you don't mind >:D marble complex --> marble complexion made ...
Apr 24, 2009 -
Re: Am Leaving Now
Chill poem. How does the rest of this line go? a bait . It looks like it was cut off in the middle. There were a few grammar mistakes, but ...
Apr 24, 2009 -
Re: Stranger in a Strange Land
Ah! I just read it in December and it was AMAZING! I found the aliens not quite as philosophical as Slaughterhouse 5's Trafalmadorians, but they were still pretty cool, with ...
Apr 19, 2009 -
Re: Yossari's Soldiers (wrking title) Chap 1
I can’t seem to act like a normal girl. I don’t particularly care for dolls or dress-up. So, the other girls said I was cursed. Huh. Sounds like she's just ...
Feb 10, 2009 -
Re: 'I am Everything'
It will be my future reference if I ever decide to post again. Haha, no pressure, right? xD Ah well. I'll try my best and hopefully you won't be too ...
Feb 10, 2009 -
Re: My Shame
Hehe, don't be so hard on yourself. And I quote Yoda "Do, or do not. There is no try." You wrote a poem; that's cool in itself. :3 That said, ...
Feb 7, 2009 -
Re: Lies
Wow. I was surprised too... I expected it to be really angsty and too quickly made, but this was pretty awesome! I'm not much of a poet, so I'll just ...
Feb 7, 2009
