Yossari's Soldiers (wrking title) Chap 1

Hello guys! Something new...

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I’m not human. I’m Reverian; a somewhat faithful, somewhat sneaky, somewhat ugly, and somewhat lucky citizen of Reverie. I wish I was like you Earthlings; but I’m not. I am writing to you as a warning—not for pleasure that I hear you people like to do. The warning is this: there is a chance that you may become a Reverian too. Of course, you don’t have to be faithful or sneaky or ugly or lucky; just a citizen of Reverie. You become a non-human. I hope that doesn’t scare you, Reverie is a very nice place to live and we’d love to have you. I try to be a nice girl and as un-scary as possible though it’s hard when a curse runs through my blood. (Sorry, I didn’t add that to my list. I’m cursed too) I’m cursed in the way that I can’t seem to act like a normal girl. I don’t particularly care for dolls or dress-up. So, the other girls said I was cursed. I was different. As such, I like to get dirty. I like adventures. Which is a good thing, I guess since I’ve spent a lot of my life riding on an adventure like one of those twisted railings you humans created. The ones where you scream and go upside down. Though, my ride wasn’t for fun. It was for fate; for a prophecy. You’re probably wondering how all of this ties to the chance of you becoming a Reverian. Well, don’t worry. You’ll learn soon enough. Just sit back and relax because you have just begun reading a book written by your very own, Aldiae Gyron.

Chapter 1

She was a swan. The glass of the surrounding windows perfectly reflected the tiny sparks of light given off by the sequins on her dress. She carried herself about the room with her glowing, flowing white dress; moving the air around with her small frail arms stretched outwardly. She twirled with dazzling confidence and gracefully made her way towards me. I watched my sister rehearse for the annual Reverie Spinner Contest. Girls from the whole city and occasionally a young man, go to the Heron Arena to spin, twirl, and jump as gracefully as possible to win the title of “Top Spinner” in Reverie. A small amount of jealousy boiled in my stomach as I watched Alaya jump up in the air. She looked as though she was flying without aid from a jet pack. I remembered last years Spinner Contest and how everyone oohed and awed over Alaya. No one oohed and awed over me. Then a pang of sadness covered my whole body when I thought of when someone did in fact ooh and aw over me. Starting tomorrow morning, he may be leaving me.

“Oh, Aldiae. Don’t be such a worry-wart. I know you think I have such competition.” Alaya said. She said the word “competition” with bared teeth like a tiger. How immature, I thought.

“I’m not worrying. I'm sure you’ll do just fine.” I said, grinding my teeth together so that I wouldn’t start a fight. Even though Mother was not in the room, she could still find out if I punched Alaya in the face. If Mother found out, she would yell. I would do anything for Mother not to yell.

“Then, why just sit there like a toad! You look…sad.” Alaya said looking queerly at me.

“I’m not sad. Just a little tired, is that ok?” I said.

“The great Aldiae? Tired?” She mocked, “What? Did Kato finally wear you out?”

I had hoped that Alaya wouldn’t bring up Kato. I really had.

“Oh yeah, Kato! Wait, isn’t he—” Alaya stopped talking to run to the glass window to look outside. She stuck her face right upside the glass, making little cheek prints.

“It’s a full moon, Aldiae! He is going to the meeting, isn’t he?”

Her face dropped when she noticed her mistake. I didn’t know if I should answer my sister or just sit there, pouting like a toad just like she said. Kato was going to the Full Moon Meeting. If he is chosen as the new apprentice of the Dream Catchers, our tire swing would never make another whoosh; my hair would never be covered in mud; I would never be beaten in hopping again.

“Oh, Aldiae. He has to belong to a Home sometime, Aldiae. Everyone does.” Alaya had bent down in front of me and grasped my chin in her hand. That was the only thing about Alaya. She always knew what I was thinking and she always tried to help me out with it. Her pearly blue eyes shone as bright as the Glow Circle in the sky. Her hand didn’t move an inch when a small tear crept down her finger.

“Don’t worry. You’ll get to see him sometime.” She gave my chin a tug and went back to rehearsing her dance for the annual Reverie Spinner Competition.

But, I couldn’t help but worry. Kato is always talking about his Home Ceremony, the night on a full moon when he would choose which Home he wants to belong in. At first, I welcomed his conversations of his beginning of adulthood. At first, he would start out by saying “In four years, I’ll belong to a Home.” But then four years became two, which became months, and then weeks, and now it is the night of. I still have two years before I belong to a Home let alone choose one. And of course, Kato chose the Home of the Dream Catchers. The most mysterious Home and prestigious of them all. Dream Catchers are highly looked up upon Reverians despite the fact that you rarely see them. Dream catching is hard work hence time consuming. Kato would only be an apprentice but he still would have little time for playing around. Being friends. Best friends. In a few years, Kato would be a full Dream catcher. The ones who can bring you out of the Earthly world and into Reverie. They catch your dreams, take them into their grasps, transform them to Yossari's, the Highest One, liking, and lay them gently back into your heads. Dream Catching is how I completed the first step of the Prophecy.

Tell me if this sounds even a bit interesting!

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
MeadowLark
Review

I thought this was interesting. Really I did. Maybe it's because I can sorta relate to Aldiae, maybe it just sounds...cool? Well anyways,

“Oh, Aldiae. He has to belong to a Home sometime, Aldiae. Everyone does.”


It sounded a little weird that you put her name twice. Perhaps if you changed it a bit. Like this: "Oh Aldaie. He has to belong to a Home sometime. Everyone does."

This last part here:

In a few years, Kato would be a full Dream catcher. The ones who can bring you out of the Earthly world and into Reverie. They catch your dreams, take them into their grasps, transform them to Yossari's, the Highest One, liking, and lay them gently back into your heads. Dream Catching is how I completed the first step of the Prophecy.


Does this mean Reverie is like a world of dreams? Or do these Dream Catchers place images of Reverie into people's heads? Well anyways, this last paragraph really caught my eye. It just sounded cool.

Well, can't wait to read more. Do PM when you post more up. That is if you are posting more up.

User avatar
Trikky
Review
Trikky wrote a review · Tue Feb 10, 2009 8:35 am

I can’t seem to act like a normal girl. I don’t particularly care for dolls or dress-up. So, the other girls said I was cursed.

Huh. Sounds like she's just a tomboy... I don't know if even little girls would confuse that with "cursed".

oohed and awed

oohed and awed --> oohed and ah'ed

She stuck her face right upside the glass, making little cheek prints.

That's kind of... strange. O.o

conversations of his beginning of adulthood

This is awkward. Try "talk of becoming an adult".

It's kind of interesting... but it's hard to tell what's going on just yet. I look forward to reading more! ^^



Time is not your best friend - unless you use it wisely.
— Marco Pierre White