Trident

I'm glad it was helpful! :)

I don't really know what you want me to say; I am not going to disavow my words. I stand by them and believe in what I wrote. This is ...

Hi FaulkerCannes, Please don't understand my review as saying your piece was bad or that you shouldn't post here. Please understand it as genuinely trying to help you. If I ...

Ugh, tried to edit and it's an error. This has happened to me before. Good thing I saved the critique in Word!

It was a terrific bit of writing...just not in this piece. Seriously, file it away for another bit of writing because it was powerful. Just misplaced, if you would.

I wouldn't say that this story is exactly preachy. There are moments where the good vs. evil are a bit heavy-handed and in black-and-white. That is not always good. Honestly, ...

Thanks Heather! Lots to ponder. I've been hearing this thing about characters and I think I need to take a look.

Thanks Tucker! Completely agree with you on the scenery/setting part. Sometimes I have to force myself to describe the settings better. I get caught up in all the characters and ...

Haha, yes the diner thing is too much probably.

Hey thanks! There is a prologue thingy too (which I may just make Chapter 1 later on) but it might help a little to read that one before a long-handed ...

Oh crap I forgot to inform you! Haha I will be sure to let you know next time!

Oh thank God that worked. Three is the charm I guess!

I have literally written two reviews for this, it won't let me post it in the edit.

Thanks tucker, perhaps the first half of this chapter is a bit lazy and unedited. I will post the second half of it soon; I think it is the better ...

Haha I have chapter two ready, but I might wait a bit to post. I think you're right with the awkward transition, I think I'm going to flesh out the ...