Tigersprite

Present The coffee shop, Esnatzen, was empty when Seres walked in; the moss green carpet shocking his feet. Can a carpet shock someone's feet? Did you mean that it felt ...

Sorry about the lateness, like borntobeawriter I am a follower of your novel come to review! :D This chapter is as long as the first, and I can see that ...

The shambler gently rocked, almost lulling me to sleep, but the knowledge of my arrival to the cliff town of Spondekai I'll admit this has nothing to do with the ...

Lumi called out all the nitpicks, so I'll get straight to talking about the poem itself. It's deep. Strong themes of depression, exhaustion, the narrator has given in. It sounds ...

First things first and not about the review, but I COMPLETELY forgot about this contest! Dang. I'm going to have to PM retro with an apology. Anyway great poem, to ...

Yay! You put them both up! Of course, I've already done my reviewing. But I mentioned that you made a few mistakes in the last few paragraphs, and I'll point ...

Alright, Tiger here to review. I know the order of the day is a Critique Sandwich, but I prefer a Critique Spread. :D So, to the nitpicks first! . The ...

This does sound like a fable, and reminds me of a Native American origin story. I like the fact that there are no spelling mistakes. Anyway, to the nitpicks! But ...

My life was simply empty, I was a shell nothing more. My tastebuds were so naive so dull and tired of the same. One day my mother came home, with ...

Nice, heartfelt poem. Depression is a strong theme here, with an undertone of anger. The whole thing has a sort of beautiful melancholy to it, you know? My favourite lines ...

NOTE : Perhaps you should capitalize the title. remember when, you held my hand. you whispered in my ear, you said you loved me. remember when, you left me in ...

I do like it, I like the rhyming (call me childish but I love poems that rhyme). One nitpick though is: The very fabrics of my soul fell apart, As ...

Well you mentioned that you had to use similes in class, but maybe you should change it a bit for YWS. Anyway, it's your first post and so I guess ...

I really like this. I like the wording you use, it adds an archaic feel to it. Some of my favourite lines: if it is true that all we are ...

Right. Nit-picks first up. The man blowing his nose was like a fog horn, shattering the early morning fog in the doctor's office. His hands trembled and his movements jerked, ...