Published October 29, 2010
I wrote this after playing the piano for the first time my life then had a dream of me actually playing in front of a audience.
Please comment, don't review.
My Undesired Finale
Melodies of life exploded into my mind,
Gracefully swimming beyond the stage,
Reflecting sensations of love and happiness,
Playing all the notes on every page.
My fingers danced on white and black teeth,
Slowly creating paradise with every chord,
The flow of music pressed me forward,
My head swung humming every word.
The very fabrics of my soul fell apart,
As I played magic through my heart,
Distracted, I glanced towards the crowd,
Who sat still, mesmerized, inches apart.
My tempo slowed down suddenly,
Into a sad and cheerless melody,
Tears welled up in my wide eyes,
As I finished my undesired finale.
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*Moved to Dramatic Poetry*
Opps i didn't notice that :S
Well, thanks a lot for pointing that out.
I do like it, I like the rhyming (call me childish but I love poems that rhyme). One nitpick though is:
Until this point, the second and fourth line of each stanza rhymed. But in this stanza, you made the first, second and fourth line rhyme, which breaks the flow of the poem. Maybe you should correct that.
Ask a moderator to move this to the poetry section for you; for future reference this is under Submit (click it), when the page loads you will see:
Poetry
Dramatic Poetry
Told through the voice of a single person.
Lyric Poetry
Expressions of wishes, hopes, joys, and sorrows.
Narrative Poetry
Tells the reader a story.
Other Poetry
None of the above? Try here.
Click on the whatever sub-genre of poetry your poem is in, and then you'll get the posting screen (I think a mod will probably put this in Lyric Poetry). Also if you want to ever post anything of any other genre, the other genres (short stories, novels, etcetera) are also on the Submit page. Good luck, and KEEP WRITING!
TIGERSPRITE
I'm not sure where that is, so what did you think?
Shouldn't this be in the poem area?