Tiaradyson

There needs a period somewhere between these lines. "When the tempo increased, did the flames and rain, and sometimes a clap of thunder would sound; when it decreased, the flames ...

BLOOD MAGIC sounds freaking cool! Ehhh this chapter is super intense Lea and her grandmother are having this talk about how the savior may be Jacob and I like that. ...

hi

I love that you gave me a challenge to try to understand this. It really questions me on your thoughts about life and how you see it. There was humor ...

WOW You are an amazing writer. I'd say your writing is vivid, but that word is overly used. I'd say your writing has a hook, compelling and irresistible. Flowing and ...

You are very good at describing smells and little describing some surroundings. I am Impressed! I could really feel the taste of salt, from the ocean, the salt from off ...

WASSUP LOVELY ^_^ I am very confused here: "All she could hear was lapping of the waves, and her own sporadic breathing." I looked up the word sporadic and it ...

First off Negative feedback: I really hope another reader/critique corrects me on this but, it seems as though you have second person because of "But what of his special powers? ...

Your characters; Arianna and Nick are off- fully close for half brother and sister. I thought their relationship was cute but disturbing to read lol. Picking her up and nose ...

CHAPTER 1: FEEDBACK: I know this is serious that her mother died and it's sad but this GEEKS ME: "Why does Mommy look so black?" He never answers." I'm freaking ...

For the first sentence instead of blowing use blow. It makes it flow better than it did before. Describe strange stuff; like trinkets and tinkers lol It's okay to use ...

Great start, I like how you draw your readers into a dystopian where scientist are the reasons to the problems, because like a lot of stories like these have scientist ...

My best friend can relate to this. It's a powerful poem that a lot of women can feel towards there loved ones. I enjoyed so much, this reminds me a ...

Oh dang like I have two perspectives in my head; I feel like this is about 1.) a little girl who knows everything but wishes not too, but than this ...

OMG I know the feeling! I like this poem because of it's wording; very child like poetry. Cause a lot of children wish for this. This was cute too, my ...