TheEstimableEelz

Really like this poem! You've put in some creative metaphors without cluttering the poem with them, and stayed focused throughout (one of my issues, heh). Your title's a bit wonky ...

Neat poem; I like the formatting quite a lot. My one thing is "drumbeat voice" - I wouldn't think of a drumbeat as charming/beautiful/what have you. So, change that first ...

Not a bad poem! You stay on focus throughout, maintain your rhyme scheme, really the only thing I'd change is word choice; some of your lines feel a bit long ...

This was neat! It's evident that it appeared to be a story; stream-of-consciousness tends to be less clear, so if you want to make it more poetic I'd say create ...

This is a cool poem! I like the idea, but I agree with the previous comment that, apart from the periodical 'STOP,' there are no telegram connotations. The poem still ...

Neat poem, as usual. =] I think the middle is fine; for me, the weakest line is the last. With the line before it, the ending just gets a little ...

Great poem! I love the lack of punctuation here - it makes the poem feel much more free and open; it feels sort of like stream-of-consciousness, almost reminding me of ...

Interesting little poem. The idea is nice, and can definitely be lengthened. But if you want to keep the length as is, I'd say to capitalize a little, remove a ...

Interesting... this sounds like the opening credits song to a show. The imagery was so-so: not bad and certainly very appropriate to the topic, but somewhat passe/run-of-the-mill. However, your positi

Saw the title and the author, and was immediately intrigued - and you didn't disappoint. It's a simple, fun topic and a simple, fun poem. =] The imagery is great, ...

Cool poem. soft ribbon tie - I feel that 'tie' is unnecessary here The best part of this, for me, was the formatting and style. The flying/falling make a stark ...

Nice poem. The imagery is nice and consistent, as is the grammar. I agree with simplycomplex about the "As" lines beginning the poem. flame-gold en - just to be consistent ...

Wonderful poem! Just one suggestion: I have a work for thee : Take me on a creative ride. This would shorten the line, and reduce not its meaning/impact. Probably heighten ...

Nice, haven't really seen this kind of topic much. To get grammar out of the way: Why play the witch doctor biting at my core, engulfing , Now, a few ...

I like this, partially because I can still remember my own graduation, heh. I disagree with the previous comments - I feel you should keep "Life's persistent current" and "Whether ...