By Ball and Chain

[quote="DisturbedDisorder"] I know it isn't amazing, but I kind of like it. Do your worst.

I really like the fact of this statement, I don't know why, but it clicked in my head. Sorry to say, but, I used to do this, and I got in trouble for it. Using the amount of commas and breaks in the poem, it made my mind, stop, and, start, reading again. Try to break down these breaks, and create less of them. The poem should flow, and click. Kinda create this, Perfect poem with just the right amount of hint. But not enough of straight-forwardness, like yours. I do know this feeling you are feeling. It's worthless, and garbage. Wouldn't eat, I would cut... Smoke So on. But there's more to life than throwing it on the ground and stomping on it with newly sharpened metal cleats. You may have been through a lot, I don't know, but, I liked it.

Not a bad poem!

You stay on focus throughout, maintain your rhyme scheme, really the only thing I'd change is word choice; some of your lines feel a bit long, or awkwardly paced. My suggestions:

I dream of setting me free, of ending this madness,

All I can think on is the pain, is this sadness,

My hair is right horrid, my face painful to look at,

I’m tall and I'm heavy, my stomach just too fat,

For why would I stay, when none ever shall care?

To know that hurts badly, it’s all but insane to bear,

Although I do hurt, I’m never quite alone,

My head is haunted, and will be 'til I’m grown.

I’m a sad excuse for a human, a waste of space,

And with my black nails, to my parents a disgrace,

So why don’t I do it, why don’t I end all?

Something stands in the way, a blocking wall,

Maybe I know the pain, the pain caused to others,

My mom and my dad, and both of my brothers,

And no deserves that, to feel such pain,

So to life I'm thus bound, by ball and chain.