Teddybear

Hello there! I would like to say before anything else, this is really good! It just has a few technical problems is all. The first of the aforementioned problems is ...

Hello! So, I'm not criticizing the story idea itself, I try not to do that as no idea is a bad idea with good writing and a better cast of ...

Okay, so I'm not going to criticise your story. I may not like it, but I'm never really one for these types of things, but the rest is all mine. ...

Hello, I'm Mae, I'm going to play the part of the knowledgeable reviewer, you are going to play the part of the beginning writer. Let's begin, shall we? Okay, so ...

Great story, well written. For once I don't have a problem with sentence structure and word choice, well done. Your only issues seem to be with description and exposition. I'll ...

Hello, I'm Mae. I read it. It was okay. I didn't love it. Here's why, 1: Your writing style is okay, but it's not as smooth as it should be. ...

Okay, I read it and, well, I always promise to never critique the story itself, so I won't do that. So no content editing from me, but everything else is ...

Overall, it's a good story, I'm just a little nitpicky when it comes to sentence structure and wording, so there are a few things I would like to point out. ...

Okay, I like it. Now I'm going to pick it apart. First things first, I praise you for your skill in writing fight scenes. You clearly know what your characters ...

I only have a few problems. My first problem is, too much tell. You didn't show hardly anything. It's all, 'here's what happened, this is how a feel about it' ...

One, you skip around a lot. You call her a psychic, but she sees ghosts? Being a psychic means you can see/hear/sense peoples thoughts, or maybe tell the future depending ...

I have a couple problems with this. First, you don't portray emotion very well. When she's running in the beginning, it would be logical to assume that she's panicking, or ...

HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Okay, okay, I'll calm down now. First off, I love Edna, her perspective is rather interesting to read and she keeps things entertaining even when the ...

Okay, first and foremost, it's not bad. Now I'm going to tear it apart. I didn't know what was going on. You should try and make it a bit smoother ...

Now, I'm probably going to start sounding like a jerk and I'm sorry, but just to make it clear, I like the story. It's well written and I could feel ...