Teardrop

Hi! Okay, so I haven't read the first chapters, so I don't have a lot to say but I'll try and get the grammatical stuff. I think that there's a ...

Hi! I'm Teardrop! I didn't really find a lot wrong with this, it was really nice, as far as I can tell. First of all, I thought you could have ...

Hi! I'm Tear! First of all, I found it odd how all of the stanzas were written in a bit of a different form. Sometimes the poem lost it's flow. ...

Hi! I'm Teardrop. So, mistakes are highlighted in red, and my comments are in bold. I know this needs work, but I feel like I need some feedback on this ...

Hi! I'm Teardrop! Mistakes are highlighted in red, and comments are in bold! Jamie, a vision in white. I thought that the opening sentence could have been a bit more ...

Hi! First of all, I liked this. I thought it was very sweet. I awake to find my dreams revolving you This doesn't really make sense to me, maybe revolving ...

Hi! First of all, what I saw in my head was a couple that have been friends since they were little, they have a baby, but the father is abusive. ...

I liked this a lot! I think you definatly have a talent for writing lyrics. I thought the song could have had more flow to it, sometimes you can get ...

Hey, Teardrop here! First of all, you should check this article out about punctuation within dialogue. "Your not. You are dead." He said as if reading my mind. I stared ...

Hey, Teardrop here to review this chapter! Okay, so yeah this is super short! XD I suggest trying not to use a lot of fragments like the few below: I ...

First of all, I thought this was very well written! I like your style of writing, and I enjoyed reading! I love the different variety of words as well! Their ...

Hi! Teardrop here! First of all, I didn't think the oversized text was nessesary, but oh well. Anyway, I think you could have added more detail, and more raw emotion ...

Hey, Teardrop here! I froze and gulped, the blood in my face disappeared and I felt a little light-headed. I thought you could have reworded this part to something like ...

This was really nicely done. I think a lot of people can relate to it, and I love the long stanzas. Probobly one of my favorite YWS poems, partly because ...

Hi! Teardrop here! First of all, I think you really need to divide this up into more paragraphs. When you start dialogue, when a new person talks, you make a ...