All I saw was darkness. A forest full of darkness. The black trees whistled and shivered in the intense wind. I kept walking. Lightning burst from the clouds as the thunder whirled around me and the forest. Rain began to sprinkle on me as I picked up my pace and walked faster through the woods. I ran. Faster and faster as the rain poured down on me. I was soaked. The rain drops dripped of my fingertips. Ahead of me the leaves rustled. I gasped. I wasn't alone. My curiosity led me forward. I jogged to the gigantic tree. Peered over to the other side, and stared into the eyes of Belle Cartly, My sister.
I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock screaming into my ear. My hand hovered over the off button and pressed it with my index finger. I sat up and wiped my eyes. I glanced out my window to my left. The rain pounded on the glass, part of April showers. I sighed and got out of bed. i walked on wobbly feet out the door.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, so I know this is really short but there is more soon to come. Thank you for reading and I'll have more to read up on the site really soon! 
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter The Apocalypse: ProloguePoints:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,616 Literary Works • 672,626 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Ooooh..well this is interesting here. Its being built up rather nicely here with the whole darkness imagery and then wind coming into play and such. Its a good choice I think to build up this little setting with all five senses there. It certainly makes for a much catchier start here and you can also get a very good sense of exactly what the character is feeling there and I think that is also a pretty good thing.
The sort of reveal there towards the end is also rather well done I think. You build up to it pretty nicely and then that one line explaining exactly who this is to the main character instantly makes things even more curious here and I am all for it right now. I think it makes for a wonderful start to things here.
Okay well that is an interesting little twist there. I was not expecting to run into a moment like that one with the whole dream sequence thing but now I think you've somehow managed to make this situation even more intriguing here. The way this person seems to have dreamed of encountering their sister and more specifically encountered said sister in this dark and dangerous sounding place...well, this is certainly the sort of thing that leaves you with a lot of questions and as a reader you do find yourself wanting to read on more here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hey, Teardrop here to review this chapter!
Okay, so yeah this is super short! XD
I suggest trying not to use a lot of fragments like the few below:
* * *
It should be " and I pressed it with my index finger." or something like that.
"My" shouldn't be capitilized.
Anyway, this is a good start, but needs editing. Try adding a bit more depth and ellaboration! Keep writing, I really would love to read more!!!
~Tear
I think this could be a very good story when you continue it
But remember not to leave us hanging with not telling the readers more about the main character and who she really is. I really liked this and would be glad to read more. Post some soon!!
Thank You! And yes, I will definatly keep writing!
Oooooo I love all the description! And the first sentence had me hooked! Keep writing!
Yes, thank you very much. This isn't all of Chapter One. And yes, Belle is, Ashley, the girl who is telling the story's sister. Thank you much!
-Jessica
Hey Dawn, I don't think we've met! Welcome to YWS. The name's Stella
This is short, isn't it? It's not really long enough to do a full review on.
Is this the very beginning of your story, because if so, it's not making much sense- unless, from your title, it's a dream. Even then dreams aren't the best way to start, because it's such a cliché.
Your ending, we don't know who Belle Cartly is, so it's not really shocking. That means all we have in the paragraph is darkness and running, which are both pretty mundane ways of starting a novel.
Of course, I don't really have anything to base this on. Maybe you should post a little more first! Then we can see what we've got.
Hope I helped, if you need anything feel free to give me a shout!
-Stella x