TNCowgirl

Alright, do me a favor before I crit this for you. Capitalize everything that needs it and uncapitalize stuff that doesn't need it. And then run this through spell checker ...

Alright, do what Bella said. PLUS, please don't post so much. When you put the spaces and all in it it is going to get longer, which won't give you ...

I know it sucks! Shut up! Acctually it doesn't suck at all. Don't assume that and put it there. Anyways, It was pretty good, there wasn't really anything I caught. ...

Hahaha, I love your bump! But none of this mattered to a young boy; because in a young boys eyes everything is forever. boy's The young boy approached the river. ...

"He's a little trouble-maker?" she asks me at breakfast. She not she sense you put ? at the end of the sentence before. I nod. "Yes," I say. "He drives ...

YOu didn't have to post a new thread. Now you need to ask a mod to delete the other one if you don't delete it. Anyways, to the story. Um, ...

Ok, you need to reformat. When you put one paragraph you need to hit enter twice so there is a space between them. It makes it easier to read. When ...

Remembering was one of the hardest tasks he ever had to commit. His master had only given him one task. Just one simple thing to do, watch over Tom Calaveras. ...

It was pretty good. As was said you don't have to use SO much cussing. But everyone's pretty much caught it all. It did confussing for a little while, and ...

Aed, you stole my crit. :P Anyways, another way to fix the 'runny-on' one is like: I took a step into the sea, got on my knees, feeling the water ...

At my locker, I shoved my bag inside before straightening my blue sweater. My dark red hair was wavy down my back and I immediately had the urge to pull ...

Alright, Everyone else has already really caught it all. But there was a few times where you didn't capatilize a letter after a period. So please do that. Other then ...

It is still really long. BUT I can give you a tip that you can go ahead and implament, I think that is the right word, though spelled wrong. This ...

I'll read this when you fix a problem. When writing dialog you do this. "Hi, my name is Beth." The girl smiled. I turned around and looked at her. "I'm ...

Um, wow. That was good. Just in my opinion after someone dies they can't do anything to anyone down here. Course you can make your people believe that. IT was ...