TDMitchell

There is room for improvement, but this is still an interesting read. Your first poem, eh? This is a good start, and you have the right to be proud of ...

Maimoona, that was simply beautiful. The entire piece is written with such emotion. I got confused at the beginning about why the dad was writing and thought it was just ...

Wow, this is exciting! You certainly do have the gift at grabbing one’s attention, that’s for sure. It seems a bit of a mixture of Harry Potter and The Bourne ...

This is quite an impressive script, and I can see how this would work as a film. The main thing I would really criticise on would be to put more ...

This is indeed a beautiful and sad piece of writing. You certainly have done a fantastic job at putting together a poem that certainly captures the emotion of someone who ...

A cleverly constructed piece. You have really put a lot of emotion and though into this. The one thing I got a tad confused about was the gender of your ...

I couldn’t agree more with what Arspoetica has just said. Your set-up in the first part of the chapter was very good. And I too am pretty interested to see ...

hehehe VousExEtonnant, you are one sneaky character. Sneaky, mischievous, and rather clever if I can admit. You have successfully and bravely summed up human psychological behaviour in this down-to-ea

A nicely put together piece. It does have some emotional elements to it. But I’m a bit confused - is the main character in this piece actually an adult whose ...

This is very good. Not a bad start for a poem. Really, there is actually very little I can say about this regarding improvement on this. It’s not a bad ...

What a fascinating piece. Bring to mind the world from the film WALL-E . A good insight into the future, a very post-apocolyptic view of the future. The stanza about ...

Wow, wow, wow. Wow. ... Wow... What a dark, dark, dark poem indeed. This is probably the first poem I’ve ever read about emo-activity. I can’t help but to say ...

Hmmm.... Well, you’ve certainly captured the depressive nature of the poem. And I’d be happy to buy you a happy meal any old time. :) One thing I will say ...

This is a very amusing piece, I must say. I also have to admit that as I read certain lines of this poem, certain film titles actually jumped out at ...

What a sad poem. But what an even amazing ending which brings his poem out of the lowest pits of despair in the same way that the character of this ...