Sura

Before I do the full review, I just wanted to say that your tense is inconsistent. D: Please go back and edit to make sure you don't have any little ...

Sleep is the only place I can escape to, a place where we are in love. You hold my hand, and your mouth brushes against my light pink lips. (I'm ...

...It's pretty good. I especially liked the rhythm in the first stanza, however, it does seem to falter after that. The last line in the second stanza could be changed ...

That was... epic. It is by far the best thing I've read all week. Long live bulls******* and smart***ery! I don't have any criticism, and I thought the length wasn't ...

It's really extraordinary. I have to disagree with most of the criticisms. The wording is fantastic, especially in the bit with "As those who raped the earth, and gave nothing ...

Healed I’ll be doing ((Different wording, maybe?)) fine without you [s]As usual[/s] ((I don't like that term, it's too conversational for most poetry)) it’ll [s]all[/s] get better as time goes ...

Down in the belly of this dark abyss, The darkness engulfs me Be careful with the words dark/darkness/etc, they get redundant quickly. It threatens to choke me The light is ...

Why won’t you just let me go? Without each other we’ll be fine. And don’t think that I don’t know, You’ve begun to like someone else in time . I ...

I really like it! That being said, Hannah has a point with the elimination of fluff. This is especially true because of the length. You only have a few lines ...

I’m trying to hide that you hurt me I’m trying to hide that I cared. I’m trying to hide that you’ve torn me I’m trying to hide the tears For ...

Hello! I really like the story, but I agree with the previous edits on grammar, etc. : D Besides the few nit picky issues, I suggestion changing the bit at ...

Let me pass on by Don’t look at me. Don’t trail your eyes down my body Meh, this sentence doesn't transition well because it's so long. and bring them to ...

Together are we, lives entwined Holding is me, dead weight This totally kills the flow of the first line. Fighting myself, screaming inside Love me? The monster that I am? ...

W hen he holds me close I can't help but fe e l at peace 1. Please capitalize. : D 2.Check for proper word usage/spelling. EX: 'fell' should be 'feel', ...

It's alright. There wasn't much to it on any level though. It didn't make a ton of sense either. It's nothing personal, but it reads like something an illiterate child ...