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Re: Defiance to Oblivion (i will change this lame title)
No question this is gold. Goodness gracious. I'm in a short story class right now, and I've been reading short stories by Hemingway and Salinger for the first three weeks. ...
Sep 4, 2011 -
Re: The Shift: Chapter 1 (Pretty much redid the entire thing)
Wow... Well, I do like where you're going with the story so far. It is somewhat original, and it sounds decent so far. The grammar and spelling can be improved ...
Apr 5, 2011 -
Re: Wide Awake
Ah, well first I must explain a bit. A few of my friends have had problems with depression. I tried as hard as I could to understand what they were ...
Apr 1, 2011 -
Re: Causes of Revolution--for school, please help!
Most of this seemed alright. I prefer proofreading and spell-checking, but I believe I may be able to help you. This meant I taxed legal documents, magazines, newspapers, and various ...
Sep 6, 2010 -
Re: Ghost of Theater Two:Chapter Two
I liked this story. Because JulNoWriMo is now running, this review is mostly grammar and mechanics. I do like your descriptive writing in the first section, though. Green is added ...
Jul 2, 2010 -
Re: Missions United Chapter 2: Choices
Alright. The grammar is quite messy, but the plot seems interesting enough. Green is added text Red is deleted text Yellow is replaced text Blue is notes "Eugene...Eugene...Eugene..." Melea kept ...
Jul 1, 2010 -
Re: The Chaos (Chapter two)
Nice! The only comment is "Grand Anarcy" might be spelled "Grand Anarchy." Anarchy = no government; I think that is the word you want to use. The story is traveling ...
Jun 30, 2010 -
Re: Run From Your Life
It definitely is an interesting start. The plot seems interesting enough, but I warn you not to follow the way of "Clash of the Titans" and focus completely on action, ...
Jun 30, 2010 -
Re: The Chaos (Chapter one)
Overall, it is a good start. A few quoted points: “Okay, class. Your only homework is to make sure you don't die until next Monday. See you next week.” This ...
Jun 29, 2010 -
Re: Amelia-Chapter 1 (full)
Wow! What a great ending! It definitely leaves me wanting more! 1. When I first started reading, the setting seemed to be a castle. I'm not sure if "gray" spilled ...
Jun 28, 2010 -
Re: Impulse - Prologue:1 "The Fall of Man"
I like this beginning! It may be just because I like apocalyptic writing, but this seems very well-written. The times you write out "hahaha" are generally awkward. I can understand ...
Jun 28, 2010 -
Re: Bleep!- edited
Overall, it is a very interesting story. If the main character is the type of person that would have bad spelling, you may want to misspell parts in the diary ...
Jun 28, 2010