Stori

Like, wow. I think that really fits with the style of a Japanese song.

Bravo! I love this. Couldn't find any grammar mistakes, either, but I'm not an expert on poetry. :)

I read it through. And, hey, it's good. Just one little thing: I think you could come up with synonyms for "soul." You know, spirit, essence, etc.

Ok, I enjoyed that. Especially the 'talk with myself'; I do that all the time. But, being American, I must ask: Who's the Tenth Doctor?

To be honest, I don't like the change. I mean, "administrating" heaven and hell? And no, souls don't choose where they go.

That was beautiful. Too bad I have to critique, ha ha. I sat starring at the fence. Should be "staring." Sorry, can't think of much else.

It's not bad. I liked the chorus, anyway.

Interesting. Just one little error I want to point out. I wanted to be normal, like everyone else. I think you could leave out "like everyone else."

My dad's a big LOTR fan. Heh. Anyways, if you're going to read The Silmarillion I suggest you get it on tape. Trust me on this one.

*frowns at Lold* Anyway, one thing I noticed. Some chapters, you used a double quotation mark, and sometimes a single.

Le wow. A little late to comment, but that was awesome.

Your heart is too thread bare, should me "too threadbare."

In the third stanza, I think you had a minor error. All of the world was staring at me. Like I was from a different planet or something. That could ...

Hey, Ayra. First off, let me say I liked this. And second, I notice all the alphas' names begin with B. Was that intentional?

Not bad, Fairy. Just one thing I'd like to point out. [quote] He stared up at the same part as Octa's.[quote] That's a little jarring. Something like, "His eyes went ...