Everyone thinks I am crazy
But i am not.
Everyone hates me
That is what i already thought.
I live alone with no one to hold me
or keep me safe.
I am only 15 at the time.
Life was rough.
Walking outside was torture.
All of the world was staring at me.
Like i was from a different planet or something.
I was disreputable and i couldn't help it.
My parents hated me so they threw me out
Now i live with some nice old guy that lets me stay for a small fee.
I thank my god that i am still alive but i wish i would just die.
I hate how i am living my life and i want to change.
But i don't know how.
I wish i could go away
not just leave i mean die.
I know i might sound emo
But who gives a damn about what i think!
When i am near anyone that gets me angry
I act very disreputable.
That is why my life is the way it is.
Because of one stupid decision to be disreputable to my parents
And everybody in the world.
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Canary word: Present
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Wait... what was this decision that made her disreputable to everyone?
This is one of those poems that would be made really really interesting if you lived less out of the mind and more in the body, if that makes any sense. Right now, the main character is living in her head, almost as if she is detached from her body, which is weird. She talks only briefly about her situation. But I think the drama outside of her is more important and interesting.
Describe the decision that she made which made her disreputable to everyone, and I think it will be much better off. ^_^
Thank you all for your crtiques i will make sure i fix them some time.
In the third stanza, I think you had a minor error.
That could use a comma in the first line.
Hmm... wow.
Is this really your life? If not, you put so much passion into this that one would think it was... i know they said to not just say "good job, keep writing", but i can't seem to find anything, not even technical stuff, that's wrong with it. Sorry, but it's just that good.
Great job!